To my sweetest hero,
Tonight is a night fraught with emotions. Tonight is one of
the last nights in a while we will lay together. For you are voluntarily leaving me, but
for such a worthy cause. Your absence in our lives is one that we are proud of.
So many emotions run through me at any moment’s notice and I am on the verge of
tears in the blink of an eye. I can see an American flag blowing in the crisp
blue sky and tears of pride shimmer in my eyes. Those tears quickly turn to
tears of sorrow as they fall. Soon my tears burn with self hate
for the selfish weakness that comes over me.
It is only three
months.
So many families have been separated for much longer, and more
often. We have been through worse. So why does it seem harder this time around?
Is it because this time we have a family? Or is it because this time around we
are seven years wiser and less naive? Is it because three kids later we realize
we are not as invincible as we once thought?
We have known this day was coming for months. But as I do
with things I am unable to withstand I pretended it wasn’t happening. I have
fought off the tears of self pity to be strong for the world. But in order to
move on, the flood gates are bound to explode. Forgive me, my love, for the
tears bound to be shed. But once they are, I will once again stand tall and
proud, able to look my supporters in the eye. I will be able to smile when
asked how you are. I will be able to answer questions of you with no lump in my
throat. And I will be able to clearly say “Thank you” with dry eyes to the
legion of family and friends who will walk with us and pray for us through this
journey. Your children and I will take one day at a time, and pray that they
keep you busy enough to help your time fly by. Our Thanksgiving will be filled
with grace and thanks for His protection over you. Our Christmas will be colder
but grateful of His love given to us the greatest gift. Our New Year will be
rung in a little quieter this year with resolutions of love and gratefulness.
You will be missed every day.
With love,
Your humble wife
